Love is Murder: Top 5 Scary Love Songs for Halloween

heart_cropped

Bukowski said love is a dog from hell. If so, then a true romance is like a slasher movie. Girl, you better not run up those stairs and into your bedroom; He’ll trap you up there! And every horror movie deserves a soundtrack.

Let’s face it. Valentine’s Day is for fat dudes in diapers and weeping single career ladies.

Halloween is where all the real romance happens. Chilly air. Pumpkin patches. Slutty nurse costumes. Masked strangers. Moonlit late nights. Horror movies to snuggle-up to. Vampires necking. And chocolate that’s better than what you’ll find in one of those cheap, cardboard hearts. Hey, boy. Why don’t you give me your real, beating, bloody heart, instead?

Besides, Halloween is supposed to be a little scary . . . and isn’t love? They both make your heart pound. Give you goosebumps. And they both make most of us run for the hills. Ah, yes. Love is a dog from hell chasing you in the night . . . trying to take a nice big bite outta your ass.

In honor of the most romantic holiday of the year, I’ve composed a list of my 5 all-time favorite spine-tingling, lip-biting love songs to woo you with. Don’t worry, honey. If you get scared, I’ll protect you.

[Read more...]

HERO MAN is Here to Save the Day and L.A.

26155536-1

It’s a ghetto bird. No, it’s a plume of smog. No, it’s HERO MAN: Los Angeles’ latest real-life super hero. No, we are not fucking kidding. Hero Man just launched his own website and wants you to contact him if you need some super help.

[Read more...]

Video: Nouvelle Vague Concert Highlights @ Ooh La L.A.

photo(25)

The beautiful Fat and Magic (yes, she’s one person even though her name is big enough for two) and I attended the first night of the Ooh La L.A. Festival — a three night musical French make out session (yes, we used tongue) with the city of Los Angeles.

I won’t lie. It got sloppy as French 80s cover band Nouvelle Vague (yes, that’s French for new wave) swayed the crowd with their buxom bossa nova interpretations of what I consider to be the best alternative new wave songs of the Reagan-Era.

[Read more...]

Fashion Flash Mob Invades L.A. County Fair

Fashion Flash Mob

Amidst the deep fried candy bars and toothless carnies at the L.A. County Fair, the surreal skies of Los Angeles opened and models rained down.

[Read more...]

Video: Hot, Crazy Brazilian Dancer at Brazil Day L.A.

photo(8)

If a picture is worth a 1,000 words, a video is worth a trillion.

[Read more...]