Photos: Venice Homeless Man Romances Mannequin

Homeless Casanova Gets Friendly with American Appearel Plastic Siren

Last summer, A.W.O.L. and I were meandering around the Venice Beach Boardwalk, like we do, when we came across a scene too bizarre for even Venice Beach: A bleary-eyed homeless Casanova cozied up to a plastic American Apparel siren (not played by Kim Cattrall.) Yes, I know, after writing that down it actually seems pretty normal for men in this town to cozy up to plastic things. But I’m hoping this photo is worth more than a 12 word description:

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Hollywood Boulevard Cat Fight!

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WHAM! POP! BAM! Well, almost. Check out these photos of this Hollywood Boulevard cat fight that almost broke-out between Cat Woman, Marilyn Monroe and some Dude with a camera. Oh, Hollywood. Oh, she would if she could.

Valley Girl and I spent another sleazy afternoon in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater, communing with the darkness of the Boulevard of Broken dreams. As expected, the demons never fail to deliver a little costumed chaos.

While Valley Girl was interviewing a straggly-haired Skull and Bones conspiracy theorist, I happened to catch Cat Woman and Marilyn Monroe almost get into a comic-book style brawl with some “a@#hole” who wouldn’t stop taking their picture. The ladies of Hollywood Blvd. don’t do that unless they get paid, just FYI.

Of course, the dude didn’t want to stop taking photos, so Cat Woman took out her claws and got in his face. There was a lot of meowing, hand-in-the face huffing and puffing business, until Marilyn got involved and actually struck him with her white plastic fan. Yeah, some like it hotter than others.

The cops were called, but the only consequence was my amusement.

Enjoy.

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#LAMurderCop Tweets about Death in the City

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LAMurderCop is the macabre Twitter handle of  LAPD Homicide Detective Sal LaBarbera. The veteran detective is under investigation for posting photos of a grisly South L.A.  gang-related murder to his Twitter account. Evidently, the blog LA Taco took offense, claiming that LaBarbera demonstrated a “callous” insensitivity towards the victim by posting photos of the crime scene.

And we thought he was just giving us something gory and bizarre to blog about for Halloween.

Detective LeBarbera sees his tweeting in a different light. With currently over 4,000 followers, LaBarbera hopes that he can bring more public awareness to the violent crime that still plagues South Los Angeles.

In a tweet, he explained himself in less than 25 words: “(D)id you ever think 1 pic would get such attention? If I did I would have done sooner. Stop the violence.”

And he’s referring to this kind of violence:

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Surreal L.A. Podcast #6: The Downtown Train, Tranny Hookers and Weird Band Stories

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Venture down the rabbit hole with Shanon, Valley Girl and special guests Mr. Now the brooding blogger and Matty “B” Heintz from Los Angeles-based blues band, The Downtown Train. Injected with a jolt of testosterone not commonly found in most Surreal L.A. podcasts, the conversation meanders around subjects like seedy Hollywood strip clubs, tranny hookers and why Courtney Love is such a trainwreck. Buckle up, folks, this will be a bumpy ride.

Also – check out The Downtown Train at Harvard & Stone in Hollywood every Tuesday night during the month of October!

 

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What the Occupy Movement Needs to Succeed

Photo via OccupyLA on Flikr

Valley Girl and I spent some time at Occupy LA’s tent city in front of City Hall over the weekend. I’m not going to lie to you. I have serious doubts about whether or not this movement will ever effect any sort of meaningful political or, more importantly, economic change without making some serious changes.

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HERO MAN is Here to Save the Day and L.A.

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It’s a ghetto bird. No, it’s a plume of smog. No, it’s HERO MAN: Los Angeles’ latest real-life super hero. No, we are not fucking kidding. Hero Man just launched his own website and wants you to contact him if you need some super help.

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Breaking News: What Really Happened between the LAPD and SpongeBob Squarepants

Surreal L.A.'s exclusive photo of SpongeBob and the two underage females involved in the incident

A couple of weeks ago, an actor dressed as SpongeBob Squarepants was detained by the LAPD in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard for what the Police Department described as a “brief incident with two females.

All the local news outlets, blogs and e-rags (including Surreal LA) assumed that the incident was SpongeBob’s fault. But, according to several eyewitnesses, SpongeBob was the victim.

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Certifiably Surreal Events 9/29 – 10/6

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There is always something profoundly weird and entertaining to do in HelLA, but only on SurrealLA.com can you find events that get our surreal seal of approval:

  • Ooh La L.A. Festival French Kisses the El Rey, Sloppy
  • Occupy Wall Street Brings the Revolution to L.A.
  • Angelinos Decompress from Burning Man
  • The Brewery Gives Good ArtWalk

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Van Nuys Porn Studio Builds Underground Bunker for 2012 Apocalypse

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Leave it to a San Fernando Valley porn studio to figure out a way to ride out the cumming 2012 Mayan apocalypse in style. Van Nuys porn production company Pink Visual is undertaking the construction of an apocalypse-proof humpin’, bumpin’ subterranean booty bunker.

Yes. We know you wanna piece.

Check out the full story to view the construction plans.

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Burning Down the . . . Bank

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Painting of a Chase branch on fire: $25,000 on eBay.

Being investigated for your paintings by the LAPD, twice: Fucking Priceless.

Surreal L.A. would like to give it up for Alex Schaefer, this month’s anarchic artist.

This painting, part of Schaefer's "Disaster Capitalism" series, went for $25,000 on eBay. Something tells me that Scheafer won't be making that deposit at Chase.

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