Everything Surreal, Strange and Unusual in Los Angeles, CA
Last summer, A.W.O.L. and I were meandering around the Venice Beach Boardwalk, like we do, when we came across a scene too bizarre for even Venice Beach: A bleary-eyed homeless Casanova cozied up to a plastic American Apparel siren (not played by Kim Cattrall.) Yes, I know, after writing that down it actually seems pretty normal for men in this town to cozy up to plastic things. But I’m hoping this photo is worth more than a 12 word description:
WHAM! POP! BAM! Well, almost. Check out these photos of this Hollywood Boulevard cat fight that almost broke-out between Cat Woman, Marilyn Monroe and some Dude with a camera. Oh, Hollywood. Oh, she would if she could.
Valley Girl and I spent another sleazy afternoon in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater, communing with the darkness of the Boulevard of Broken dreams. As expected, the demons never fail to deliver a little costumed chaos.
While Valley Girl was interviewing a straggly-haired Skull and Bones conspiracy theorist, I happened to catch Cat Woman and Marilyn Monroe almost get into a comic-book style brawl with some “a@#hole” who wouldn’t stop taking their picture. The ladies of Hollywood Blvd. don’t do that unless they get paid, just FYI.
Of course, the dude didn’t want to stop taking photos, so Cat Woman took out her claws and got in his face. There was a lot of meowing, hand-in-the face huffing and puffing business, until Marilyn got involved and actually struck him with her white plastic fan. Yeah, some like it hotter than others.
The cops were called, but the only consequence was my amusement.
Enjoy.
LAMurderCop is the macabre Twitter handle of LAPD Homicide Detective Sal LaBarbera. The veteran detective is under investigation for posting photos of a grisly South L.A. gang-related murder to his Twitter account. Evidently, the blog LA Taco took offense, claiming that LaBarbera demonstrated a “callous” insensitivity towards the victim by posting photos of the crime scene.
And we thought he was just giving us something gory and bizarre to blog about for Halloween.
Detective LeBarbera sees his tweeting in a different light. With currently over 4,000 followers, LaBarbera hopes that he can bring more public awareness to the violent crime that still plagues South Los Angeles.
In a tweet, he explained himself in less than 25 words: “(D)id you ever think 1 pic would get such attention? If I did I would have done sooner. Stop the violence.”
And he’s referring to this kind of violence:
It’s a ghetto bird. No, it’s a plume of smog. No, it’s HERO MAN: Los Angeles’ latest real-life super hero. No, we are not fucking kidding. Hero Man just launched his own website and wants you to contact him if you need some super help.
A couple of weeks ago, an actor dressed as SpongeBob Squarepants was detained by the LAPD in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard for what the Police Department described as a “brief incident with two females.”
All the local news outlets, blogs and e-rags (including Surreal LA) assumed that the incident was SpongeBob’s fault. But, according to several eyewitnesses, SpongeBob was the victim.
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Leave it to a San Fernando Valley porn studio to figure out a way to ride out the cumming 2012 Mayan apocalypse in style. Van Nuys porn production company Pink Visual is undertaking the construction of an apocalypse-proof humpin’, bumpin’ subterranean booty bunker.
Yes. We know you wanna piece.
Check out the full story to view the construction plans.
Painting of a Chase branch on fire: $25,000 on eBay.
Being investigated for your paintings by the LAPD, twice: Fucking Priceless.
Surreal L.A. would like to give it up for Alex Schaefer, this month’s anarchic artist.
This painting, part of Schaefer's "Disaster Capitalism" series, went for $25,000 on eBay. Something tells me that Scheafer won't be making that deposit at Chase.
SpongeBob Squarepants was brought down in front to Grauman’s Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard earlier this week for what the Los Angeles Police Department described as a “brief incident with two females.”
The Police offered no other details, so I’m just gonna make them up.
Did anyone notice the UFO flying just outside of Los Angeles, Calif. on Wednesday night?
Are you afraid of things that go bump in the night? The team at Paranormal EXP LIVES for that sh*t and has the EVPs (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) to prove it! Settle in for some spooky stories and sounds from some of L.A.’s most haunted places…Happy Halloween ghosts and ghouls!
Don’t miss this boiling pot of hot political debate and bonus words of wisdom from Smiley and West’s Poverty Tour. Shanon & Valley Girl spend a day at Occupy LA where they run into members of Anonymous and ask the million dollar question: “What can the 99% do to take back the wealth and power… [Continue Reading]
Venture down the rabbit hole with Shanon, Valley Girl and special guests Mr. Now the brooding blogger and Matty “B” Heintz from Los Angeles-based blues band, The Downtown Train. Injected with a jolt of testosterone not commonly found in most Surreal L.A. podcasts, the conversation meanders around subjects like seedy Hollywood strip clubs, tranny hookers… [Continue Reading]
Shanon & Valley Girl join the unemployed masses and seek solace on Hollywood Boulevard, aka the “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” where they meet homeless and pregnant teen, Venice, talk to Green Lantern and other costumed folk, and learn important lessons from the movie “Friday.” Keep it surreal, L.A.!
Surreal L.A.
