Love is Murder: Top 5 Scary Love Songs for Halloween

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Bukowski said love is a dog from hell. If so, then a true romance is like a slasher movie. Girl, you better not run up those stairs and into your bedroom; He’ll trap you up there! And every horror movie deserves a soundtrack.

Let’s face it. Valentine’s Day is for fat dudes in diapers and weeping single career ladies.

Halloween is where all the real romance happens. Chilly air. Pumpkin patches. Slutty nurse costumes. Masked strangers. Moonlit late nights. Horror movies to snuggle-up to. Vampires necking. And chocolate that’s better than what you’ll find in one of those cheap, cardboard hearts. Hey, boy. Why don’t you give me your real, beating, bloody heart, instead?

Besides, Halloween is supposed to be a little scary . . . and isn’t love? They both make your heart pound. Give you goosebumps. And they both make most of us run for the hills. Ah, yes. Love is a dog from hell chasing you in the night . . . trying to take a nice big bite outta your ass.

In honor of the most romantic holiday of the year, I’ve composed a list of my 5 all-time favorite spine-tingling, lip-biting love songs to woo you with. Don’t worry, honey. If you get scared, I’ll protect you.

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Surreal L.A. Podcast #6: The Downtown Train, Tranny Hookers and Weird Band Stories

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Venture down the rabbit hole with Shanon, Valley Girl and special guests Mr. Now the brooding blogger and Matty “B” Heintz from Los Angeles-based blues band, The Downtown Train. Injected with a jolt of testosterone not commonly found in most Surreal L.A. podcasts, the conversation meanders around subjects like seedy Hollywood strip clubs, tranny hookers and why Courtney Love is such a trainwreck. Buckle up, folks, this will be a bumpy ride.

Also – check out The Downtown Train at Harvard & Stone in Hollywood every Tuesday night during the month of October!

 

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Video: Nouvelle Vague Concert Highlights @ Ooh La L.A.

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The beautiful Fat and Magic (yes, she’s one person even though her name is big enough for two) and I attended the first night of the Ooh La L.A. Festival — a three night musical French make out session (yes, we used tongue) with the city of Los Angeles.

I won’t lie. It got sloppy as French 80s cover band Nouvelle Vague (yes, that’s French for new wave) swayed the crowd with their buxom bossa nova interpretations of what I consider to be the best alternative new wave songs of the Reagan-Era.

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Certifiably Surreal Events 9/29 – 10/6

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There is always something profoundly weird and entertaining to do in HelLA, but only on SurrealLA.com can you find events that get our surreal seal of approval:

  • Ooh La L.A. Festival French Kisses the El Rey, Sloppy
  • Occupy Wall Street Brings the Revolution to L.A.
  • Angelinos Decompress from Burning Man
  • The Brewery Gives Good ArtWalk

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LACMA Gets a Late Night Booty Poppin’ Exhibit

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Los Angeles likes big butts and we cannot deny that Boretta Da General‘s midnight bootylicious photo shoot was the of the most bizarre things we’ve seen all week, proving once again that when it comes to “surreality,” L.A. always delivers.

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