Certifiably Surreal & Spooky Events: Halloween Weekend 2011

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The veil between the living and the dead is about to get a little thinner, so grab your best scary (or sexy) costume to ward off those spooky spirits and head over to one (or more!) of our hand-picked surreal and spooky Los Angeles Halloween events:

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Surreal L.A. Podcast #8: Halloween Edition featuring Ghost Stories with Paranormal EXP

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Are you afraid of things that go bump in the night? The team at Paranormal EXP LIVES for that sh*t and has the EVPs (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) to prove it! Settle in for some spooky stories and sounds from some of L.A.’s most haunted places…Happy Halloween ghosts and ghouls!

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Love is Murder: Top 5 Scary Love Songs for Halloween

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Bukowski said love is a dog from hell. If so, then a true romance is like a slasher movie. Girl, you better not run up those stairs and into your bedroom; He’ll trap you up there! And every horror movie deserves a soundtrack.

Let’s face it. Valentine’s Day is for fat dudes in diapers and weeping single career ladies.

Halloween is where all the real romance happens. Chilly air. Pumpkin patches. Slutty nurse costumes. Masked strangers. Moonlit late nights. Horror movies to snuggle-up to. Vampires necking. And chocolate that’s better than what you’ll find in one of those cheap, cardboard hearts. Hey, boy. Why don’t you give me your real, beating, bloody heart, instead?

Besides, Halloween is supposed to be a little scary . . . and isn’t love? They both make your heart pound. Give you goosebumps. And they both make most of us run for the hills. Ah, yes. Love is a dog from hell chasing you in the night . . . trying to take a nice big bite outta your ass.

In honor of the most romantic holiday of the year, I’ve composed a list of my 5 all-time favorite spine-tingling, lip-biting love songs to woo you with. Don’t worry, honey. If you get scared, I’ll protect you.

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Photos: Venice Homeless Man Romances Mannequin

Homeless Casanova Gets Friendly with American Appearel Plastic Siren

Last summer, A.W.O.L. and I were meandering around the Venice Beach Boardwalk, like we do, when we came across a scene too bizarre for even Venice Beach: A bleary-eyed homeless Casanova cozied up to a plastic American Apparel siren (not played by Kim Cattrall.) Yes, I know, after writing that down it actually seems pretty normal for men in this town to cozy up to plastic things. But I’m hoping this photo is worth more than a 12 word description:

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Hollywood Boulevard Cat Fight!

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WHAM! POP! BAM! Well, almost. Check out these photos of this Hollywood Boulevard cat fight that almost broke-out between Cat Woman, Marilyn Monroe and some Dude with a camera. Oh, Hollywood. Oh, she would if she could.

Valley Girl and I spent another sleazy afternoon in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater, communing with the darkness of the Boulevard of Broken dreams. As expected, the demons never fail to deliver a little costumed chaos.

While Valley Girl was interviewing a straggly-haired Skull and Bones conspiracy theorist, I happened to catch Cat Woman and Marilyn Monroe almost get into a comic-book style brawl with some “a@#hole” who wouldn’t stop taking their picture. The ladies of Hollywood Blvd. don’t do that unless they get paid, just FYI.

Of course, the dude didn’t want to stop taking photos, so Cat Woman took out her claws and got in his face. There was a lot of meowing, hand-in-the face huffing and puffing business, until Marilyn got involved and actually struck him with her white plastic fan. Yeah, some like it hotter than others.

The cops were called, but the only consequence was my amusement.

Enjoy.

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#LAMurderCop Tweets about Death in the City

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LAMurderCop is the macabre Twitter handle of  LAPD Homicide Detective Sal LaBarbera. The veteran detective is under investigation for posting photos of a grisly South L.A.  gang-related murder to his Twitter account. Evidently, the blog LA Taco took offense, claiming that LaBarbera demonstrated a “callous” insensitivity towards the victim by posting photos of the crime scene.

And we thought he was just giving us something gory and bizarre to blog about for Halloween.

Detective LeBarbera sees his tweeting in a different light. With currently over 4,000 followers, LaBarbera hopes that he can bring more public awareness to the violent crime that still plagues South Los Angeles.

In a tweet, he explained himself in less than 25 words: “(D)id you ever think 1 pic would get such attention? If I did I would have done sooner. Stop the violence.”

And he’s referring to this kind of violence:

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Video: Has the Occupy Movement Found a Leader in Cornel West?

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Is Dr. Cornel West the leader the Occupy Wall Street Movement has been looking for? After Dr. West’s arrest on Sunday in front of the Supreme Court building in Washington D.C., it’s becoming apparent that the distinguished professor might have the passion, dedication and grit required to lead a successful civil rights movement. And, it’s about time a prominent public figure showed some backbone.

The arrest occurred during Sunday’s dedication of the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. National Memorial. Dr. West joined an estimated 250 Occupy D.C. (October2011.org) protesters in a march on the Supreme Court building. The demonstrators denounced the court decisions that have resulted in unchecked corporate influence over government.

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What the Occupy Movement Needs to Succeed

Photo via OccupyLA on Flikr

Valley Girl and I spent some time at Occupy LA’s tent city in front of City Hall over the weekend. I’m not going to lie to you. I have serious doubts about whether or not this movement will ever effect any sort of meaningful political or, more importantly, economic change without making some serious changes.

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Is American Horror Story Authentic L.A.?

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“American Horror Story” premiered last Wednesday to a lukewarm reception from critics and television audiences alike. Being fans of Ryan Murphy and connoisseurs of weird Los Angeles tales, of both the non-fictional and fictional varieties, Surreal L.A. was waiting with baited breath for this new FX series. The bottom line: it’s more “Nip/Tuck” meets “American Gothic” than it is “Glee,” but is it authentic L.A.? We examine further:

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HERO MAN is Here to Save the Day and L.A.

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It’s a ghetto bird. No, it’s a plume of smog. No, it’s HERO MAN: Los Angeles’ latest real-life super hero. No, we are not fucking kidding. Hero Man just launched his own website and wants you to contact him if you need some super help.

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