Van Nuys Porn Studio Builds Underground Bunker for 2012 Apocalypse

Leave it to a San Fernando Valley porn studio to figure out a way to ride out the cumming 2012 Mayan apocalypse in style. Van Nuys porn production company Pink Visual is undertaking the construction of an apocalypse-proof humpin’, bumpin’ subterranean booty bunker.

Yes. We know you wanna piece.

Check out the full story to view the construction plans.

Pink Visual spokesman Quentin Boyer told LA Weekly that 1,200 to 1,500 very important persons will be allowed into an “enormous underground bunker” somewhere in the Southern California on December 21, 2012 (the Mayan End Date). Think Lex Luther’s subterranean Manhatten hipster pad. Full bars, stripper poles, stages, co-ed showers, and a fully-functioning production studio — because when the shit-house goes up in flames, people will still need their booze and porn.

“Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury, whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung Earthward by an all-seeing deity, extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above.” — Boyer

Check out their schematics provided by CBS LA:

Naturally Pink Visual isn’t going to disclose the exact location of its underground, zombie-resistant lair to the general public. Can you imagine the sausage fest lining up to seek shelter in the promised post-apocalyptic pleasures of Pink Visual’s 2012 bunker? After all, there needs to be a higher ratio of females to males to ensure adequate re population of the human species. Just ask Dr. Strangelove:

Mr. Boyer, am I a bad feminist if I ask you to please save us a space?

Comments

  1. “A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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