Any connoisseur of celebrity blogs and paparazzi-approved YouTube channels is probably familiar with her. She reigned the streets of Beverly Hills, Calif. circa 2009 – 2010. As a ruler, she was as “of the people” as they come: her throne was a lawn chair, her crown a humble scarf, her glass slippers a pair of worn sneakers. In a city deficient of superheros, Quween was a rare find.
Fair, direct and terminally helpful, Quween did not discriminate; from lowbrow Z-listers to reality show winners to the beloved elderly and bonafide stars, Quween was quick to jump from her perch on Bedford Drive to say:
“Do you know how I am? I’m Quween on the Scene and Imma protect you!”
Protect she did, shielding the famous and infamous alike from the persistent flashes of “popts-a-razzi” cameras. At the height of her royal profession, Quween recorded a memorable Funny or Die sketch.
Then, one day, just as quickly as she appeared, the Quween disappeared…and Beverly Hills has not been the same since. According to Michael K of Dlisted, “I heard her ass got banned from Beverly Hills! That’s the last I heard.” We theorize that it may be related to this incident.
So, we are recruiting you, our faithful readers, to help us find Quween on the Scene (a.k.a. Quween OF the Scene). Why? We’re concerned. The streets of Surreal L.A. are not always kind, friends, especially to sensitive souls like the Quween. She’s a hero in our eyes and deserves to reign another day.
Please send your Quween on the Scene sightings to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
We pledge to locate the Quween, or at least learn of her current whereabouts.
And we leave you with Quween on the Scene tracking down her homie Flavor Flav. Watch as they walk off into the sunset together. If we were to write the script, that’s how we’d like to think her exile from Beverly Hills went – arm in arm with the gigantic clock-wearing Lothario himself.
For more Quween musings, be sure to listen to the Mulholland Drive edition of our podcast…